The Weekly Supermarket Shop


The weekly shop to the supermarket is one of those jobs that falls to me.  In truth I don’t mind it.  I don’t necessary enjoy it, but what is clear is that Ros enjoys it about as much as North Korea enjoys freedom of speech.  Given her stance, I’m happy knowing I’m doing one of those jobs she does not want.

I have never been there to witness Ros and the kids in the supermarket, but in my mind something seems wrong.  Ros will go armed with a raft of sweets, toys, treats, water and spare nappies (diapers for American readers)…..she is ready for a week in the wilderness camping with the kids….not a 90 minute round-trip to Sainsbury’s.  But for whatever reason, somewhere around the crusty bread section mutiny erupts.

In her mind I am probably an accident waiting to happen, I mean I travel light….I just take the kids and that is it!  I kind of have to ask…what is the worst that can happen?  Before you answer that – the supermarket does sell nappies.

I think Ben loves the supermarket as much as Ros….that 10 minute drive gives him plenty of time to recite his times tables for me!  The journey should take only 5 minutes but I usually have to pull over and have a sob given his lack of progress in this area to date!

Jocelyn sees it as an adventure, ok, she falls asleep in the car going there and coming back….but let me tell you the fishmongers counter holds a lot of excitement for her…and the bakery is a must visit…clearly that one is fueling her sweet-tooth as we don’t leave without at least a chocolate mouse or a pack of donuts.  More importantly she rides around in that trolley like a tank commander on the front-line of combat.  I think she actually takes things too far in her own mind…usually at the point of entering the chilled section she refuses to allow either Ben or I to push the trolley possibly believing she really is master and commander of this machine and not the helpless passenger that she really is.  She likes to get involved at the checkout as well…just throwing anything she can grab with some gusto at the checkout belt!

Ben is becoming a seasoned pro.  I can send him tracking across the store to locate anything we missed first time around….which to be frank is a lot.  Like a bloodhound pulling at the leash he is never happier to learn that some bizarre item…limes, low fat coconut milk, avocados have been forgotten….it also begs the question when did any of those items become everyday essentials!!!

Ben’s other favourite activity is loitering by the change machines.  I don’t know if you have seen them, but they are large machines where shoppers take truckloads of loose change and swap it for higher denominations of coinage for a charge.  I guess it is the most decadent machine to have been created, I mean who is too busy to actually count their own money?  Well –  you have been warned, judging by Ben’s success rate, not only are customers failing to count their own money, they can’t put it into a machine without throwing half of it on the floor! Your loss is Ben’s gain.

I don’t want you to think me and the kids skip through this weekly shopping trip like the seven dwarfs running off to work…I have had mutiny, tears, tantrums and downright disrespect during the process, but then I just remind them if they want to stay at home they will have to endure watching re-runs of ‘The Real Housewives of Cheshire’ with their mother…and that threat does focus their mind on the task at hand.

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